Love as a currency.

I’m running in circles, chasing his tail

I love too recklessly so I’m destined to fail.

Rip open my chest but the blood doesn’t pour, it trickles down my belly and onto the floor. I’d invite you in, but the heat works no more. It’s so cold and I don’t know how to warm up, I’m caught in the rain and the door is jammed shut. Been chasing this shadow that fills me with doubt, he gifts me his attention only after I shut him out.

He told me last night that I’m better than I thought, though the better turned bitter and the mood became taut, just like the invisible rope wrapped thrice around my neck – three for the number of chances I’m willing to give before I let him kick the seat beneath my feet.

I seek to repent for the currency I’ve stolen, I’ve lost and I’ve squandered.

You see, I’d take it all back, just to feel what it’s like when I’m not feeling so hurt, when this rope’s not so tight.

So I draw the blinds, breath a deep sigh, and lay down a while.

Now I

Listen to my body, bleeding and bruised

Excuse me a moment while I tend to my wounds